Tuesday, August 20, 2013

What If You Took a Day Off?

I used to teach a Bible study at my church, and many of our study girls were teachers. More than once I heard them lament that they wished they could take a day off {sometimes for fun and sometimes because they didn't feel well} but it was too much work to be gone. They'd have to write lesson plans...and hope there was a sub available...and deal with all the sub-induced-misbehavior when they got back.

It was just easier to go to work. And perhaps more restful.

It just made me sad!

Ryan and I both understand that sort of thing now. It's not that we can't take time off work - but he has a schedule full of patients that need to see a therapist, so if he takes off, someone has to cover for him and he hates putting that on his co-workers. And I can take time off - but I have to find someone to cover my jobs here at the station and sometimes I hate asking for help.

You probably understand. Maybe for you...you'd have to find someone to watch your kids...or manage the store...or drive your route...and it's just easier to keep going.

But I ask you...

What if you took a day off?

What if you took the time and the trouble to get the substitutes as needed, mapped out the work that needed to be done, and you simply enjoyed a day.

Fall is headed this way, and while I'm not eager to give up the two minutes of summer we're now enjoying, I do love so much about fall. I love the colors...and the crisp air...and the food...all of it. And I'm hoping Ryan and I can carve out a day to go enjoy.

So whether it's savoring more of summer or looking forward to fall...or anything in between...what if you took a day and just savored things like this?



or....



or...



or...


or...


or...


What if you did?

What if you took a day?

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Resurrecting a Marriage

My husband, Doug, and I met at the beginning of our junior year in high school, went on one disastrous date, and then became good buddies. I dated one of his best friends for the rest of high school.

      
 
Here we are, two members of the 1973 graduating class of Northrop High School. I wore my hair the same way as practically every other girl in my class: long and straight, with no bangs. And holy tartar sauce, what's up with my skinny tadpole eyebrows? That's what I get for shaving -- yes, shaving -- them. Doug's tie knot is the size of a throw pillow, the epitome of 1970s GQness. He was utterly charming then, and still is. Sigh.
 
 
After graduation, Doug attended a small private college in southern Indiana, while I remained in Fort Wayne working at my dad's transportation company. We stayed in touch, though. Doug would call me promptly at midnight every New Year's Eve. He'd be at a party; I'd be home babysitting my little sister. Trust me: it's not as disheartening as it sounds.

Doug transferred to the Fort Wayne campus of Indiana University to finish his degree and started dropping by my house...a lot. The warmth of like expanded into love, and we said our "I dos!" on August 26, 1978.

 

Our 35th wedding anniversary is fast approaching -- and all we can say is that we're grateful and a bit awestruck to still be Mr. and Mrs. Doug Ford. Every couple has its issues. Mine were selfishness, passivity and deceitfulness. Doug's baggage was equally damaging to him and to us. While we wholeheartedly love each other, for the better part of our marriage we couldn't, wouldn't own up to our ugly, willful actions. Don't get me wrong; we weren't living in Dante's Inferno. We genuinely liked and loved each other and enjoyed being together. Yet we were trapped in a cycle of acting out, getting angry, punishing each other with silence, making up, and then settling back into our lives.

This volcano had to blow...and it did.

The exact date escapes me. The conversation is wallpapered on my mind.

Me: WHAT are we doing? What are we DOING?
Doug: Do you want to be married to me?
Me: Yes. Do you want to be married to me?
Doug: Yes.
Me: What am I doing that is hurting us?
Doug: What am I doing that is hurting us?

We both already knew the answers. Naming them one-by-one acknowledged the real sadness and hurt they'd caused, something we'd deliberately tried to ignore with our crazy fighting/make-up cycle.
It took several years; two major crises; more confessions and apologies; a mindful plan for effectively dealing with our issues and their fallout; plus a heap of humble prayers for God's protection, power and transforming grace to repair and restore our marriage. That's a towering mountain for any couple to try and climb. Two things brought immediate relief, lightness, and encouragement to keep going.

The first was kindness. Neither one of us made a conscious decision to regularly and deliberately find ways to be kind to each other. No, "Today I shall draw my wife a bath!" or "Tonight I shall give my husband a foot rub!" Instead, one morning I woke up and found a cup of tea waiting for me on the counter. And the next morning. And the next morning. One evening Doug returned home from work and found a wife excited about preparing a delicious dinner. And the next evening. And the next evening. Kindness reminded us that we were for each other and for Us. It was the Miracle Grow that fed our love while we dug out the destructive weeds that had choked the life out of our union.

The second was sharing life. I realize that sounds odd. After all, we lived in the same house. Slept in the same bed. But between work and parenting and life's many demands, we really didn't spend much time together. None of those things were going to change, so we found little ways to connect. When Doug went to get gas for the lawnmower, I'd go with him. When he mowed the lawn, halfway through the task I'd take him a glass of water. He' call me on his way home from work to say, "See you soon" or slip into the bedroom while I was reading a book for Mid-Morning to give me a kiss. Small points of contact that whispered, I meant it when I said I want to be married to you, and am willing to do whatever it takes to make Us strong.

I don't know what condition your marriage is in. But what I do know is this: a resurrected marriage is a wonder to behold and a ravishing gift to experience. I've lost count of the number of times Doug or I will say to each other, "What are you smiling about?" The answer is summed up in a single word: Us.

And we are so grateful.


 
Our little family of three is now five: Doug, me, J.R.'s wife Jeni, son Elijah, and J.R.



Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Learning

I worked in higher education for eleven years before coming to WBCL.

Every Tuesday-after-Labor-Day, I'd watch the sidewalks fill with students trekking to their classes...most clutching paper coffee cups from the campus coffee shop...and it signified the beginning of a new year of learning.

And toward Christmas, those same students clutched coffee cups again, this time curled up in a corner on the floor outside the doors of our office...laptops and notes strewn in a semi-circle around them...frantically reviewing for finals.

The cycle of learning...the first day and the last final.

When I walked across the stage at the front of an over-crowded, over-heated gym in April of 2000, collecting my college diploma, I wasn't one of those packing up a compact car to drive to a new city and start all over with a new degree pursuit that fall. I didn't have a need {or a desire} for the achievement of an additional degree, so while many of my friends kept going, I traded in textbooks for a calculator and sat behind a desk on the same campus where I'd spent the last four years learning...and I entered the work-force.

It's been 13 years now since I walked across that stage, and I'm still no closer to running ahead for another degree than I was that day.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about that. People look at me strangely when they find out I "only" have a bachelor's degree.

But education is expensive. This I learned while immersed in it for all those years. And it's true that while I worked there, I could have gotten a better financial deal on the classes, but I looked over the list of available degrees, none spoke to me. I couldn't have passed the math classes for a business degree, and obviously if that's true, accounting was out of the question.

Ministry degrees were the only ones that even piqued my interest, but I had to track one down that didn't require me to become fluent in Greek or Hebrew. And I didn't find it before I left to work here.

So it's a little strange that this girl who so loves her freedom from homework and finals - who has a husband who is equally done with school - put together a "Back to School" mantel this week. Right there in the living room is the token apple...the cluster of bright yellow #2 pencils in a cup...the oversized ABC letters...and some rather questionable looking school photos, circa 1988, featuring the Shaffers as fourth and fifth graders...complete with hair to pay homage to the year.

But it's the quote on the notebook paper that signifies why a home with no students would have a back to school mantle.

I don't have a desire to go back to school, but I do have a deep desire to learn. I'm thankful for that quest for knowledge and wisdom. I'm thankful to have resources to learn every day. I'm thankful to be a student of life.

And I'm thankful that in December, I don't have to cram for finals.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Kerri Zurbuch's Cucumber Salsa Recipe

Is your garden overflowing with cucumbers? Try Kerri Zurbuch's "Cucumber Salsa Recipe!"

Chop 5 cucumbers, 3 Roma tomatoes, 1/2 purple onion, 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, and 1/4 cup fresh jalapeno peppers. Stir in 1/4 low-calorie Italian dressing and serve with baked chips for a delicious, vitamin-packed snack.

 
 
 
Today's "Healthy Habit" is introduce new forms of exercise slowly to avoid injury. For conditioned individuals, allow 2 - 6 weeks. For deconditioned individuals, allow 4 - 12 weeks.
 
 
Recovery from soreness gauge:
 
 
Soreness        Recovery                                       Frequency of Same Activity
 
1 day              Wait 2-3 days before doing again    3x per week
 
2 days             Wait 3-4 days...                                2x...
 
3 days              Wait 4 days...                                   2x...
 
4 days              Wait 5 days...                                   Only 1x...
 
5 days              Wait a full week                              Only 1x...