Easy Relationships

Bekah and I enjoy each other's company -- whether it's in the office we share, prepping food at my house for a Kitchen Caboodle MM, or on the air. We've been working as a team for eight months now. This photo was taken a week after she arrived, yet it appears we've known and liked each other for years. A portent for good things to come.

A listener call during today's open phone line segment on kitchen gadgets you love/dislike got me thinking about the gift of easy relationships, which Bekah and I have had from the get-go. Easy, meaning they require no breaking in time and not that they are without problems (uh, I'm not taking about Bekah, in case your mind went there!)...after all when humans are involved, how can any relationship be problem-free?

This listener thanked us for Mid-Morning, light-hearted shows like today's and those that address the things of life that leave us bruised or perplexed. But what I heard her say (I do love subtext) was thanks for offering a steady, constant place of joy and life. For one hour every Monday through Friday, a community of friends -- me, Bekah and thousands of you -- share an easy relationship. We are part of the same God-family that creates an immediate, "I know you!" Now that deserves a place on my 1,000 gifts list!

Eugene Peterson summarizes my three paragraphs in his rendering of Psalm 16:3...

And these God-chosen lives all around--what splendid friends they make.

I agree.

Aye, Eye!

The human body…make that any and all life, never ceases to astound me and prompt praise. Monday it was the human eye that had me hallelujah-ing. Our eyes blink over 27, 397 times a day. Under the right conditions, our eyes can see the light of a candle at a distance of 14 miles! And talk about proficient, our eyes can distinguish 500 shades of gray. Extraordinary organs, our eyes, which is why ophthalmologist Dr. Ruth Williams’ eye health advice is so helpful.

I take seeing for granted, like breathing and other functions my body does without my consciously thinking about them. But today made me more mindful of all the goodness and glory I see in a given day: a bird’s nest cupped in a tangle of skinny branches, my husband’s hands (which I think are as beautiful and manly as Michelangelo’s David), and the orangey-red sunrise on my drive into work.

But there’s something my eyes have yet to see that creates such a heightened anticipation in me, it can make me cry: my Jesus.

On the ride home tonight my iPod shuffle made Todd Agnew’s Christmas song In the First Light the next song in rotation. Todd sings about Christ’s advent, His first coming, and then ….His any-day-now Second Coming:

Hear the angels as they’re singing on the morning of His birth

But how much greater will our song be when He comes again to earth

When He comes to rule the earth

Hold me down! What a glorious sight. What a glorious moment that will last forever.

Until we actually see Jesus in the flesh, use your holy imagination to glimpse into the any-moment-now-forever-future as you listen to Todd Agnew sing In the First Light.

Who Would Have Thought?

I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have thought of it…how air conditioners changed life. Let me tell you that my life would be changed (and not for the better – AT ALL) if you took away my air conditioning. I’m pretty sure I’m the first girl to turn on air conditioning in the spring (February is spring, right?) and the last person to turn it off in the fall (November is still fall. Stop judging me).

But never – EVER – would I have considered that pre-air conditioners, people sat on their porches because they were too hot inside. And as they sat on their porches, they became friends with their neighbors because…well…they were on their porches too. Once air conditioning arrived, everyone retreated inside to take full advantage (as well they should have) and as a result those meet-your-neighbor moments went by the wayside.

Who would have thought that a beautiful invention would make such a huge change? It’s not all about good or bad…it’s just different.

It’s not a bad thing to have air conditioning (BELIEVE ME) or any other sort of technology. But it’s bad when the whole technological life takes over completely and we’re controlled by it. I get that. Take away my phone for too long and I struggle to breathe. It’s true. It’s in those moments I need to remember that my life needs to be controlled by the Creator of technology – not the technology we have created.

Permission

What a refreshing perspective Lorraine Pintus brings to the subject of Intimate Issues…also the title of the book she co-authored with Linda Dillow.

You know my favorite word she mentioned today?

Permission.

Though I’m not married, the word I so often seem to find associated with sex and intimacy is expectation. I hear my married friends talk about what their husbands expect…or what they expect of their husbands. Magazine articles talk about how to spice up the expectations. It seems to boil down to duty over desire.

And quite frankly, that makes me sad. It makes me sad because I have high hopes that someday if I do get married, there actually could be such a thing as intimacy and not just a list of expectations.

And Lorraine gave permission. Permission for husbands and wives to step outside the realm of expectation to talk to each other about what is important. Permission for wives to approach God in all honesty and ask for the desires of the heart. Permission for husbands and wives to decide to serve each other instead of demanding each other.  Permission to invite God to be part of sex and intimacy.

Permission. What a beautiful exhale.

Scaredy Cat

What scares you? For Angie Smith, author of What Women Fear, her list of fears was long and practically emerged with her from her momma’s womb. Like Angie, I had many fears as a child; some I could name, others I couldn’t; but they all left a vapor trail of anxiety. And how’s this for the ultimate irony: I became a Christian at age nine and knew the comfort of my heavenly future, yet I was absolutely terrified of the Rapture. Forty-seven years later I can still recall the dream/nightmare.

What do we do with our fears? Are ongoing struggles with fear a lack of faith? Angie’s own words are today’s “Fix Your Thoughts on This” –

“I want to propose that it (fear) is more of a balancing act than anything else. I don’t think I’m a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don’t think that it is a requirement for Christians to forego fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question Satan whispered (in the garden, ‘God says He is good . . . is He?’), and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus (my italics).”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had to mindfully move from a passivity masquerading as faith to become an active participant (my part is simply to obey and choose Jesus) with the Holy Spirit in God’s transforming work in my soul – including releasing me from the grip of fear. The fuel for this movement was, and continues to be, knowing God. More faith isn’t the answer to overcoming fear. A fuller, clearer vision of the Object of my faith, Jesus, is.

Knowing God leads to trusting God and trusting God leads to obeying God . . . even when fear threatens to overtake me. So when the enemy of my soul hisses, “God says He is good . . . is He?” I can answer, You bet He is! I know Him, so I trust Him (Psalm 9:10) . . . and with Jesus ahead, beside and behind me, I plow right through my fear (FYI, my knees may be shaking, but onward I go).

The Ministry of Waiting

I have to admit, when I started listening to today’s encore Mid-Morning, I didn’t think there would be much in it that applied to me. Chris Yuan was buried deeply within a gay lifestyle, selling drugs, in trouble with the law…all of which are things that don’t apply to my life. They don’t even apply to the lives of any people who are close to me.

Ahhh, but stories are bigger than they appear.

As Chris and his mom began to talk, God began to not just whisper to my heart…but SHOUT to it.

Here’s the thing that spoke to me most profoundly.

The ministry of waiting.

Chris talked about how his mother longed with great desperation to see his life turn around…to see him find a deep and meaningful relationship with Christ. But there was only so much she could do. What she needed to do most of all was wait. Wait and pray.

I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again. I do not wait well. I am a take-action sort of girl. I want God to write the story and I want Him to write it QUICKLY.

But oh, how God works behind the scenes. He really, really does. He does beautiful things that we can’t see in the moment but that doesn’t mean they’re not happening. He does powerful, pivotal things based on the prayers of his children.

My heart is challenged – and exhausted – as I take away this truth. Waiting isn’t about toe tapping impatience. Waiting really can be a ministry. A powerful ministry of prayer. A powerful ministry of going to the one with all the power and all the love.

Not a ministry for the faint of heart, to be sure. But a ministry nonetheless.

I Want To Be Like Mitch

How do I love the things Mitch Kruse says? Let me count the ways! There isn’t enough blog space to do that, so I heartily encourage you to catch his interview on the topic of satisfaction. All of it is quote worthy and heart-mind- and soul-changing.

As I hosted the interview, asking questions and listening carefully to his responses, I was struck by this “Fix Your Thoughts on This” idea:

Any one of us can have the same depth of understanding, wisdom and experience of God that Mitch has.

Let me repeat that, a little louder: 

Any one of us can have the same depth of understanding, wisdom and experience of God that Mitch has.

I absolutely believe it. It’s biblical and I experience it (James 4:8, I Corinthians 2:12, 13). Now I realize Mitch went to seminary where he learned Hebrew and Greek and spent hours studying the Bible. That’s a solid foundation for knowing what the Bible says. But, and this is key, his understanding, insight and wisdom are the result of regular time with Jesus, reading the Bible, praying and listening (which are a package deal), all of which are illuminated and informed by the Holy Spirit. And the praying and listening goes on throughout his day...driving in the car, over lunch, helping to coach his daughter's basketball team.

God won’t cheat us out of Himself. O, how He delights in our knowing Him in a very real, experiential way. All we need to do is draw near.

I’m coming, Jesus!

Face-to-Face Builds Faith

Sure, all of the new brain science is interesting, but does it have a practical purpose? You bet your sweet neurons it does, including how you parent your children. Think your teen is deliberately being surly? Chalk it up in part to his pre-frontal cortex not being completely wired (which doesn’t excuse his behavior but changes the tone of any conversation). Want to help your kindergartner succeed at reading? Talk, talk, talk to her from the time she’s born and limit videos, DVD and computer games (they can overstimulate reactive attention, making it difficult to pay attention to a teacher who's simply talking).

But the most convincing argument for face-to-face time, with the science to back it up, is this:

Babies can’t develop the building blocks of language from listening to audio recordings or watching TV or videos. A baby needs completely individualized language experiences delivered by a real person.

I think faith in Jesus works on the same principle. I used to rely almost solely on others to teach me about Jesus, mainly my pastor, speakers and authors. How did they become so wise in the ways of God, I wondered? The answer? While I was reading books about God and listening to sermons about God (biographies, so to speak), these men and women immersed themselves in God’s autobiography, the Bible, whispered the Spirit.

What an eye-opener for me!

We share our lives in Christ with each other. Yes, God speaks words of love, direction, hope, joy, even discipline through others. But He also has things He wants to say directly to us, spiritual wisdom and insight delivered straight from the most-real of all entities: the transcendent God Himself. And He has a love-fueled desire to speak to me…and you.

So read Max Lucado, David Platt, and Sarah Young. And listen to Beth Moore, Louie Giglio and Anne Graham Lotz. But, most of all savor regular bouts of time with God, reading, praising, listening and praying.

That’s where the building blocks of faith are assembled...in the very presence of God.

What a Good Idea!

What are the odds I’d learn something new on a show entitled “Problem Solvers.” Uh, pretty good, both in preparing and during the hour.

Here are a few around-the-house ideas you might find helpful:

1.      Remove a price sticker from a book cover by using a hair-dryer to blow hot air over the sticker until it becomes soft. It should lift right off. Be sure to remove the book jacket before doing this so the adhesive doesn’t melt into the cover.

2.      Is your wood floor (not wood laminate) scratched? Take a pecan or walnut, break the meat in half, and rub it into the scratch. Go with the grain of the wood to fill the scratch. Buff with a soft cloth. If the scratches are deep, you may have to repeat the process a few times.

Bekah Freelan and Creative Memories Director Dee Dee Neumeyer-Gansert are photo and scrapbooking mavens. Bekah shared helpful digital scrapbooking ideas, especially how to get started. There were way to many to list here, so check out the show on the MM archive or listen on your smart phone via WBCL's app.

The highlight idea (judging by our staff’s response) came from Dee Dee: a super-cool scanner that scans photos and items that can’t be scanned by traditional wands (think tee-shirts, dresses), and such. It’s called Flip Pal. It’s pricey ($150), but if preserving memories is your passion, you might want to check it out.

Wisdom & Courage: Don't Go Anywhere Without Them

Jan Silvious is a life coach with the warmth of Paula Deen and the crack discernment of Dr. Phil McGraw– in fact, she’s called “The Female Dr. Phil,” though she doesn’t use axioms like that dog won’t hunt or ask, “How’s that working for you?” But she most certainly has a way with words, getting to the heart of an idea in one or two sentences, including today’s “Fix Your Thoughts on This:

Wisdom is the gift of knowing what to do. Courage is the gift of having the guts to do it.

Wisdom and courage go hand-in-hand, enabling us to make right choices, and then act on them. Both are generous gifts from God in response to our asking. If that’s true, why does courage elude us? As a reformed scaredy-cat, I thought courage meant the absence of fear. Not so. Courage is stepping out in spite of fear. What gives me the guts to do what’s right (handle a problem at work, tell a friend her words have hurt me) is Jesus.

It always circles back to Jesus, doesn’t it? He is with me, for me, in me, ahead of me, behind me, next to me, surrounding me. He is the Yes to all of God’s promises, which means He is every answer to every question, problem and situation. And He is my Friend.

Need courage? Let these words from the psalms wash over you; they are God’s reality, which is truer and more powerful than the reality you face:

I am ever mindful of the Lord’s presence,

He is at my right hand,

I shall never be shaken.

Holey Heart

The words had barely left Lisa Harper’s mouth when I knew, just knew, that they would be the “Fix Your Thoughts on This” from Wednesday’s Mid-Morning. The respected Bible teacher with an inviting Southern twang shared how a difficult childhood, including being molested, had left her battered and broken on all fronts: emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. In her adult years, our wise God, even before Lisa knew Him personally, protected her from men who could hurt her and protected men from a confused and wounded Lisa who could hurt them! How’s that for honesty? But here’s what she said that made me sit up and take notice:

“My heart was such a colander that really good love must have leaked through.”

My, oh my. What a graphic and gripping picture of a heart blasted by life’s buckshot. If you’re breathing, your heart’s taken a hit or two. Maybe like the before-she-belonged-to-Jesus Lisa, you’re not able to accept sincere affection, kindness or anything good. They pour out of jagged wounds that require the supernatural surgery of Love Itself, Jesus.

“But He was pierced through for our transgressions,

He was crushed for our iniquities

The chastening for our well-being fell upon Hi,

And by His scourging we are healed”

                                   

                                    Isaiah 53:5

Energize Me

Dr. Ann Kulze is a walking nutrition encyclopedia, which is why I wanted her unbiased opinion about D-Ribose, a special good-for-you sugar your body makes that’s supposed to increase energy. As someone who’s dealt with chronic fatigue since my early 30s, I’m always looking for healthy ways to bump up my energy. After reading Dr. Mehmet Oz’s recommendation of D-Ribose in a recent newspaper article, I went for a second opinion with Dr. Ann. I respect her science-based approach to nutrition. No gimmicks. Just the facts. That’s Dr. Ann Kulze.

If this is the first you’ve heard about D-Ribose, here are the basics from Dr. Andrew Weill’s website, which Dr. Ann gave in her own words during the hour:

Ribose is a naturally occurring sugar made in the body from glucose and is an essential component of ATP (adenosine triphosphate), the compound that stores and delivers energy in all cells. Ribose also occurs in RNA (ribonucleic acid), one of the main information-carriers of living organisms

In Dr. Oz’s words, “Of all the things you can do to combat the effects of knee-dragging fatigue, taking a daily ribose supplement is the one that seems to really turbo-charge some people who have diseases associated with low energy. The only side effect is that some people feel too much energy, if that's possible.”

Too much energy? That’s a problem I’d like to tackle

Dr. Ann’s D-Ribose bottom line is the same as Drs. Oz and Weil: there haven’t been enough definitive studies to prove D-Ribose supplements (in pill or powder form) do what they appear to do, which is increase energy, even in people with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. That jury is still out.

I’ll be the D-Ribose guinea pig for you. I bought a bottle of D-Ribose powder this past Saturday and starting take a teaspoon every day. I’m thought my burst of energy on Saturday was due to the placebo effect, and Dr. Ann assured me it was (rats!). It doesn’t give you the immediate jolt of caffeine; instead it takes several days or even weeks to work – if it ever does. I hope! I hope!

I’ll keep you posted.

UWMW

Today's six "Author! Author!" books gave me plenty to think about, but Lorilee Craker's Money Secrets from the Amish provided the exclamation point to a persistent thought that's resurfaced in my mind several times since the clock struck 2012: consume less, create more.

The Amish excel at this because they adhere to the concept of UWMW: Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without. I'm good at using up food, toilet paper, tooth paste, shampoo and a long list of daily living items. But to be honest, I very seldom wear out, make do or do without. And I have a habit of buying new lotions, potions and make-up before finishing up the at-least six-month supply already stockpiled.

As I put away Christmas decorations and made space for the gifts I received, I became painfully aware of abundance...every where I looked, abundance...and wondered how long I could go without having to buy something, anything -- food, toilet paper and other basic necessities excluded?

This isn't a legalistic exercise. In fact, I think it will open my eyes to see more of God's good gifts, which I'll add to my 1,000 Gifts List. I wonder what revelations God will surprise me with? I'll be sure to let you know.

Something else I wonder about -- how long will it take to use up nine tubes of lipstick and 5 blushes? Looks like I'll be saving quite a bit of money on make-up in 2012.

Finding Your Stability

I am following the lead of Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts, and thanking God for His good gifts. Ann counted 1,000 of them in about four weeks, noting each one in her journal. Today's MM gave me another gift to add to my growing list: left-field insights from God during MM, aka "I-thought-this-show-was-about-something-totally-unrelated-to-my-life-but,-wait...Heads-up! Here comes a heavenly news flash!"

After a crisis, get on with your stability.

Okay, let me put the statement in context. Tammy Daughtry, author of Co-Parenting Works!, tells a woman (or man) going through a divorce that the most helpful thing she can do for her kids is to get on with her stability. What does that mean? In a nutshell: looking forward in faith and acting on the belief that our good God will care for us. In day-to-day life it means That means establishing routines, laughing and smiling while doing life with her kids, and creating a safe, peaceful home.

Get on with your stability. The phrase kept dancing through my head. I'm not experiencing the crisis of a divorce, but over the years I've certainly had my fair share of upheavals that had me begging for stability. My first inclination used to be for a rescuer. If all the Prince Charmings and fairy godmothers were otherwise occupied, I'd settle for a momentary distraction. And this was after I became one of God's beloved.

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; Prone to leave the God I love," certainly described me. But God (don't you love the pairing of those two words?) continued to draw me to His Word and to speak life, light and love to me. He showed Himself to me and became the truest Friend, One I learned -- and continue to learn -- to trust Him, in and for all things. Over time, as crisis arise, my first impulse has become to turn to God for stability on all fronts: body, mind and soul.

Get on with your stability.

Thank you, God, for reminding me that whatever the crisis -- small or large -- my stability is You. You are indeed our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

She's a Brainiac, Brainiac

I'll admit it: I'm a brain-ophile. And why not? Our brains are extraordinary, incredibly complex organs that shout, "I didn't get this way on my own. A Genius Computer Programmer made me!" All the while  Dr. Marv Eastlund and personal fitness trainer Kerri Zurbuch unpacked the link between lifestyle and aging well, physically and mentally, I had little praise-and-awe-party in my head.

Scientists used to think each of us is born with a set number of brain cells that we could lose as we grew older. Now we know that the body can create new brain cells, and that there are specific things we can do to make it happen. Shut the front door!

Research shows new neurons are stimulated to grow in three ways:

1. By a change in outside circumstances--the things you view or read and that surround you
2. By a change within--your thoughts or determination to try new things
3. By what we physically feed them--medication, supplementation, nutrition, and exercise

Do one thing every day (you pick the category) that kick-starts birthing neurons. Today I'm dancing my way to multiplying neurons with a new Zumba DVD. Sure, some of the moves make me look like a tipsy praying mantis, but who cares?

Ready. Set. Go grow brain cells -- and thank our God Who makes this miracle possible.

This Is For All the Lonely People

Elvis sang, "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" According to a recent AARP study, the answer, for almost half of the population over 40, is yes. Loneliness can lead to a laundry list of physical ailments, but it does offer one positive: discovering what's behind the loneliness can move you closer into the Father's arms. Counselors Amy Aldrich and Cathy Jantzen unpacked this in detail on the show. All good stuff, but what will stay with me from the hour is the story from one of you.

This young woman has spent the majority of her life feeling alone. She was molested at age four, picked on in school, and labeled the black sheep of the family. When anyone did show her kindness, she doubted their motives and felt haunted by "never enough" thoughts. As a child she'd begged God -- Who can do anything because He's God -- to come down to earth and give her a hug. That's all she wanted: a hug from her heavenly Father. A few years ago this wounded woman decided to take a risk and go to church. After the service, the pastor, who'd positioned himself at the door to say goodbye to the parishioners, gave her a warm hug. The physical touch caused emotional overload...lots of tears, and she didn't know why. She went back to church the next week and the same thing happened again: hug from the pastor followed by tears. The young woman asked God what was happening. His answer? Remember when you were a little girl and you asked me to come to earth and hug you? Well, that's what I just did.

The longed for, hoped for, prayed for kindness of God, experienced through the warm and caring hug of a pastor (who had no idea what God was doing through his shepherd-action), was and is still being used by God to eradicate a young woman's loneliness.

God hears all of our prayers, spoken and unspoken. He collects all of our tears. And He always, always answers our prayers in His perfect way.

Ann Voskamp is #1 on My List of 1,000 Gifts

"God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy." That's Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts in a nutshell.

The farmer's wife and mother of six didn't want to die before she'd fully lived. She wasn't physically ill; yet sickened nonetheless by anxiety, grief, and the gnawing of not enough: "But, someone, please give me--who is born again but still so much in need of being born anew--give me the details of how to live in the waiting cocoon before forever begins?"

That someone was Christ, who modeled the answer Ann, and all of us, is searching for: thanksgiving.

I don't know when I've received so many insights from one book; not just beautifully written thoughts, but true spiritual food:

The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. (For this woman afflicted with bouts of wanderlust to heavenly places on earth, this sentence was the equivalent of Jesus saying to Peter, "Do you love me?")

We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks.

Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives. Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our Yes! to His grace.

A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit. (Erasmus)

To name a thing (thanking God for His blessings), in other words, is to bless God for it and in it.

If you read only one book in 2012, make it One Thousand Gifts. If you make only one resolution in 2012, make it the heartbeat of One Thousand Gifts: becoming aware of God's good gifts, naming them, and thanking Him for them.

I bought a journal today. Ann said it took her almost four weeks to record 1,000 good things God had given her. Four weeks!! At first I was astounded by her light speed quickness in reaching the milestone. But then I remembered there are angels in heaven whose only job is to continually praise God. He is that worthy, that good. What would happen if I marshalled my five senses, and then responded to the outpouring of information? Would I be like the angels, unable to stop praising God because of this focused awareness? My own humanity would certainly prevent such a thing...but I want to love God, Who first loved me, by living a life of thankfulness.

How long will it take me to recognize, name, and thank God for 1,000 of His gifts to me? I don't know. I'm not going to rush to get there. Instead, I'll savor the gifts, but especially the Giver of all good things.

What's the first thing on my One Thousand Gifts list?

Ann Voskamp, of course!

Dead Horses and Other Convictions

Walking into walls? I’d never do that. I’m not stubborn!

Okay wait. You’re not on the wrong blog. This really is me. I really am stubborn. And I’ve smacked my face into more walls than I can begin to tell you about. (Hopefully those that know me well have made a new year’s resolution to be merciful and will not leave comments of further explanation on that point…)

Stephen Arterburn shared a quote on Mid-Morning…and it smacked me between the eyes. This was his grandfather, Ernest’s, saying. If the horse is dead, get off.

I hate endings. I really do. If I have to go through an ending, then I certainly want a good batch of closure, but I hate the ending itself. I invest in people and things and projects so easily – and when something has to end, it’s truly like a death to me.

And I may or may not have (okay, I HAVE) been known to sit on a dead horse waiting for it to come back to life. It’s like the medical shows on TV when the doctors keep doing CPR – keep trying, and one doctor finally has to get to get in the other’s face and scream, “CALL IT! He’s dead. It’s over. You can’t save him.”

Gulp.

As I face a new, uncharted year, I’m armed with a list of things I hope to accomplish…things about myself I desire to change…and one of those things is to recognize a dead horse when I see one, crawl off its back, mourn its passing – and be ready to move forward into a future. Not into a wall.