Thursday, October 16, 2014

Make a List!

My first boyfriend and I began dating in college. We had a rather unconventional beginning to love, and practically nothing about our relationship was ever normal, but it's still a sweet part of my past, because it was the first time anyone had ever taken an interest in me and invested in me like that.

It is with a slightly red face that I confess we began dating as the result of the classic, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no."

Let me explain.

He and I had been "talking" for a while but had skirted that all-important defining talk, so we both bumbled about wondering how the other one felt and if there was something actually happening between us. It was all new for me, and I relied entirely on the advice of my roommates, who assured me that guys did NOT, in fact, "just come over" with gifts unless they were interested. {Mercifully they left out the additional detail of "especially after you answer the door wearing red plaid pajamas."}

One of my roommates was dating a prankster who took great delight in the awkwardness of our fledgling love. One morning, I returned to our apartment after my morning class, to find a note scribbled on the white board of my bedroom door. The note said, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no." I knew INSTANTLY her boyfriend was behind that note, and I cracked up.

Then I stopped laughing.

What if MY guy had stopped by the apartment that morning while I was gone to class and thought I wrote the note for him?

I do believe my face would have matched those garish pajamas at that moment.

I erased the note, but had no choice but to try to figure out if he'd seen it. Unfortunately I did not possess a single smooth cell in my being at that point, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Did you stop by the apartment this morning?
Him: No, why?
Me {way too quickly, and an octave higher than normal}: NO REASON AT ALL.

Yeah that didn't fly. I had to confess and he ended up asking me what I would have circled if he really had left me that note.

{Enter the swirling notes of harps and little confetti hearts flitting from the sky.}

All of the above was simply for your entertainment. Here is what I really wanted to tell you;

I struggled pretty heavily with low self-esteem at that juncture in my life, and he made it his personal mission to try to help me improve. It was a monumental {read: impossible} task, but he was stubborn and persisted in trying to get me to see myself differently.

He was stubborn enough, actually, that he gave me an assignment.

"I want you to write 100 positive things about yourself," he said to me.

WHAT? I'm in COLLEGE! Do I not have enough homework? This could take YEARS!!!

He didn't give me years. He gave me until the end of the week.

Do you know how long of a list ONE HUNDRED THINGS can be? Excruciatingly long. I folded up some loose leaf paper and carried it around with me, scribbling down good things as they came to mind and spent more time painfully conjuring up things that could be deemed as good.

And then we met for a date in the campus coffee shop and I read him the list.

I have never forgotten that assignment. It was, I believe, the beginning of learning to love the girl God made me to be.

And I firmly believe everyone could benefit from something like this. One hundred is a LOT. But I would love to challenge you today to write a list of twenty good things about yourself. TWENTY. Write them down and look at them to remind yourself that you do have gifts and good qualities about yourself.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made - inside and out. Celebrate it!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Hats off to Antonio Gatto

Vorrei comprare un capello. I want to buy a hat.

That was my singular request during our recent trip to Italy. Everything else was up for grabs; well, except for a repeat visit to see the work that brought Ephesians 2:10 to life before my very eyes: Michelangelo's David.

And not just any hat. No, I wanted one made by Antonio Gatto.

I'd read an article about the renowned and respected Florentine milliner who, as a child, hid under the sacred vestments embroidered by his aunts, “watching their fingers dance on the cloth," while memorizing how to do basting stitches. He's a sculptor of hats, transforming some of the most humble materials - felt and straw - into works of art. But that wasn't my primary motivation for acquiring a hat made by Mr. Gatto.

No. I simply wanted a hat that fit my head. Women's hats come in one laughable size: fits all.

Uh, no. They don't.

You need a hat to survive cold, snowy, blustery Midwest winters. One with a brim is crucial for protecting your eyes. I've made due with all manner of one-size-fits all chapeaus. Made due is the key phrase here because once I pull the crown far enough down to cradle my head, the brim is below my eyebrows, requiring me to lean my head back in order to see. This gives me an excellent view of the sky but not where I'm walking, which has caused a few embarrassing stumbles. Thanks to my amico, Antonio, things are looking up for the winter of 2014 because I'll be looking straight ahead!

When Doug and I arrived at his narrow shop, just steps from the Boboli Gardens and Palazzo Pitti, we were tired, hot and sticky with sweat after a day of sightseeing. The store was empty. Not a soul in sight. Which hat would I buy?

Maria, Antonio's delightful assistant, returned from lunch and carefully helped me try on a handful of possibilities. Once I saw myself in the mocha felt charmer, the deal, as they say, was sealed...almost. I wanted a black hat. My only option was the mocha hat because Antonio makes one, just one, of each design. Using a combination of hand gestures, rudimentary Italian and Spanish, and the tried-and-true-but-totally-unhelpful technique a talking LOUDER, I was able to make Maria understand that I wanted a custom-made version of the mocha that was measured and cut to fit my black.

Next thing I knew, she called the man himself, Antonio Gatto, and announced that he was coming to the store.


These types of spectacular, perfect-timing moments don't happen to me. But on this day, September 18, 2014, my 59th birthday, I was graced with an I-see-you-treasured-daughter gift from God.

Five minutes later, in strides the short, compact designer dressed in caramel pants and turtleneck, sunglasses and cell phone in hand.

He's honored I want to buy one of his hats. Yes, he will make one for me in black but he doesn't have the materials in stock. He'll buy what he needs the next morning. Could I come back tomorrow night at 7:30 and choose a hue of black from the felt he'll buy in the morning? That will give him enough time to craft the hat before we leave Florence on Sunday. Of course, I reply. Before we say goodbye, he measures my head.

The next evening, a Friday night, Doug and I make our way across the Ponte Vecchio to old Florence, where Antonio's shop is located. Approaching his store, we see him sitting at his work table, bathed in the golden glow of an overhead light. We take a moment to simply watch him, this man who creates art that serves a practical purpose.

I was in for a shocking surprise: I wasn't there to choose fabric. Antonio had done that himself and had finished my hat!

He carefully placed it on my head and slid it, pressed it down into place. Oh. My. It felt like a warm caress.

“A hat by itself is incomplete,” says Antonio. “It is the person who completes it, by wearing it a certain way, giving it a soul and a personality.”

Dear Antonio. You don't realize that making hats is a ministry, but it is. It's a blessing of beauty and calling out the uniqueness of God's children, including me.

My beautiful 59th birthday memory is secure in my head. Better yet, it's secure on my head.

Dio vi benedica, Antonio. God bless you.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Kerri Zurbuch's Caramel Apple Cheesecake Bars

One look at the photo and you're off to the kitchen to make these mouthwatering fall treats! Be sure to check the variations for increasing protein and reducing fat, at the conclusion of the recipe.

Caramel Apple Cheesecake Bars

 2 cups all-purpose flour
 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

 Cheesecake Filling:
 3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
 3/4 cup sugar, plus 2 tablespoons, divided
 3 large eggs
 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

 3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and finely chopped
 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

 In a medium bowl, combine flour and brown sugar. Cut in butter with a pastry blender (or 2 forks) until mixture is crumbly. Press evenly into a 9x13 baking pan lined with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Bake 15 minutes or until lightly browned.

 In a large bowl, beat cream cheese with 3/4 cup sugar in an electric mixer at medium speed until smooth. Then add eggs, 1 at a time, and vanilla. Stir to combine. Pour over warm crust.

 In a small bowl, stir together chopped apples, remaining 2 tablespoons sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Spoon evenly over cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle evenly with Streusel topping. Bake 40-45 minutes, or until filling is set. Drizzle with caramel topping and let cool. Serve cold and enjoy!

 Streusel Topping:
 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
 1 cup all-purpose flour
 1/2 cup quick cooking oats
 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
 In a small bowl, combine all ingredients. I like to really combine it by using my clean hands to thoroughly combine the butter into the mixture.

To make the treats even better for you:

1. Replace the regular butter with room temperature Land 'o Lakes whipped butter.
2. Replace 3 eggs with one egg and 4 egg whites.
3. Replace cream cheese with Greek yogurt cheese (next to cream cheese blocks in dairy case).

Cheesecake Filling:
3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup sugar, plus 2 tablespoons, divided
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a medium bowl, combine flour and brown sugar. Cut in butter with a pastry blender (or 2 forks) until mixture is crumbly. Press evenly into a 9x13 baking pan lined with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Bake 15 minutes or until lightly browned.
In a large bowl, beat cream cheese with 3/4 cup sugar in an electric mixer at medium speed until smooth. Then add eggs, 1 at a time, and vanilla. Stir to combine. Pour over warm crust.
In a small bowl, stir together chopped apples, remaining 2 tablespoons sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Spoon evenly over cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle evenly with Streusel topping. Bake 40-45 minutes, or until filling is set. Drizzle with caramel topping and let cool. Serve cold and enjoy!
Streusel Topping:
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup quick cooking oats
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
In a small bowl, combine all ingredients. I like to really combine it by using my clean hands to thoroughly combine the butter into the mixture.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Throwback Thursday

Though the day on the calendar is 2 days away yet, it was 2 years ago today that this happened:

The day that Lynne told me we had problems with our phones and even went so far as to have our engineer, Craig, come in and mess around in the room next door to make me think he was fixing them. That Craig. He goes to every length for authenticity. The day Lynne told me she wanted to play a song and we would just have Ron sit in with us in case we had trouble getting the song on the air. The day she told me she wanted to add a topic just for funsies.

She didn't actually say "funsies." That's a Bekah word.

But we had no phone problems. While we did play a song during the hour, that wasn't why Ron joined us in-studio. And the extra topic for funsies was just to set up our conversation in such a way that she could easily transition to "By the way: you have a visitor.

Two years ago today, Ryan crawled down the hall and under the window...and I was none the wiser. {Heavily distracted by the frappe in front of me.}

He paced around in the morning guys' office while I yammered on about frappes and memories. And then this classic face:

I knew. I knew the MINUTE I saw him why he was there. We had JUST told my parents - and our church - we were dating. And there he was, ready to make it official forever. My first thought was Oh I hope my mother knows about this. {She did.}

And I, oh girl who sobs like a toddler through every moment of life, somehow managed to stay composed while Ryan delivered the most GORGEOUS speech ever.
I'm so glad I kept it together. Otherwise, we'd have a roll of engagement pictures to mimic this travesty from the wedding:
No one needs that.

He proposed and I squealed out a YES before he hardly had the question out of his mouth.
I keep a CD of this show in my car, and last week, I listened to part of it on a commute. I cried more listening than I did that day. But it was okay. I was alone and it was dark out and no one could see the above face.

How thankful I am for Ryan and for these past two years. How thankful I am he took a risk on me. How thankful I am he was braver than I and willing to jump right in and propose and get married so we didn't have to wait forever. How thankful I am that when I read through the words of his proposal {it's framed in our house} that he has been a man who has kept every promise.

Thankful that he loves me as Christ loves the church, and I ache for him to be able to show other men, through his words and actions, how to follow suit with the women they love.

Two years ago, life changed forever. In the most beautiful way.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

That is Brave

I don't know if you had a chance to catch Wednesday's Mid-Morning when it aired...but it was an extra special one for me.

My first time to sit in Lynne's chair for a full hour - other than a BLT show. My first time to choose a book and read it and make notes and settle on questions and place a call to a guest before the show began. A guest I'd have for a full hour.

I'd love to tell you that I was Lynne-esque about the whole and calm. But the reality was my hands shook through the entire thing, and had it not been for the literal ARMY of prayer warriors surrounding me...I am not sure I'd have made it.

Ryan took time to pray with me earlier in the week - praying circles around all the parts of first-time-hosting that made me nervous, and then he majorly spoke my love language before work, when he slithered out of the house to get me this surprise {which he doctored up with notes all around}:
And when show time came, I settled in knowing I had done all I could, knowing people were praying, and I did my best:
Appropriate that my first interview was on bravery.

Annie talked about how bravery looks very different for different people. AMEN TO THAT. I wanted to show you a sampling of some of the ways bravery has shown up for me over the years:

Back in May 2010, when I was smack in the middle of the darkest season of my life, bravery meant getting on an airplane all by myself {first time to ever fly alone} to travel to Virginia Beach to see my best friend. Flying alone was brave and traveling at all during a debilitating season of the soul was brave times twenty.

In October 2010, bravery was getting in a car by myself and driving to Wisconsin - alone on unfamiliar roads for the first time ever in my life.
In June 2011, bravery was packing up the only office I'd ever worked in throughout my adult life and saying goodbye to a job that felt "safe" to follow God's call to WBCL.
In September 2011, bravery was standing on the stage {not to talk. Just taking a step ONTO THE STAGE} with Jim and Ron during the first concert I ever worked. I nearly passed out over that!

In November 2011, bravery was walking onto a stage - this time TO talk - as I worked the David Phelps concert and actually got to introduce him. Speaking in front of more than 2 people was brave. I don't know how many were in the room that night, but it was CONSIDERABLY more than 20.
In September 2012, bravery was running a 10K - especially since I'm not a runner.

In May 2013, bravery was ziplining. Not gracefully. Just doing it.
In August 2013, bravery was climbing to the top of a lighthouse. I'm afraid of heights. Every step was a prayer.
That same month, bravery was taking a Segway tour on vacation. A picture worth 1000 words:
Last month, bravery was taking my first {and last} ever theme park ride.
And just a couple of weeks ago, bravery was sitting in my car watching my husband drive away for a rafting trip with the guys: our first time apart.

Bravery has many forms. But oh how we need to celebrate it. Every. Single. Time.

Hoping you'll join us for BLT to share YOUR stories of bravery. #thatisbrave

Thursday, September 11, 2014

God's Words in Your Mouth

Tuesday I spent the afternoon with our good friend Dr. Mitch Kruse, filming episodes of his television show, Restoration Road. I was part of a group that included comedian David Dean and volleyball player William Robbins, founder of Empowered Sports Club.

Guess which guy is the volleyball player and which one is the comedian!

As Mitch led us through Philippians 4:8 - 20, I was struck by the vast differences of our insights on the same verses. And I think that's something worth noting.

God has things to reveal and to say to the world about Himself that He can only express through you and me...and Billy Graham and Beth Moore and Mother Teresa. All of God's children are chosen, known, and beloved unique revelations of their Father. Walking billboard that proclaim, "This is what God looks like."

His words in your mouth and my mouth. His life in your actions and my actions. Our lives matter in God bringing His will to pass because He has graciously chosen to include us in answering the prayer, "Thy kingdom come."

So we listen to Him in prayer and silence and His Word. AND HE GIVES US UNDERSTANDING.

And be sure to pay attention to what you hear. The more you do this, the more you will understand--and even more besides. To those who are open to my (Jesus) teaching, more understanding will be given. (Mark 4:24, 25)

We then share this ongoing stream of understanding in the comings and goings of living.  

Comedian David Dean reveals the humbling challenge of showing up at an event of just 35 people -- and internally bending his knees to Jesus in order to give a full-arena performance. That's how David once experienced Philippians 4:12, being content with little, in this case, an audience. William Robbins reveals the steady-keel identity that grows out of focusing on what is true about Who God is and who He declares William to be. Yes, Philippians 4:8 secures his identity whether he receives praise or criticism. 

These men, different from me in ways beyond gender, encouraged, challenged, blessed and entertained me in ways Billy Graham, Beth Moore, Mother Teresa, and everyone else can't. 

And I heard and saw God.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Memories and Dreams

Ryan works in health care, which means he doesn't always get holiday weekends. He works at a rehab hospital, and patients have to be seen 365 days a year. And so it was, that this past holiday weekend, I spent a lot of time home alone while he worked every day but Sunday.

It was a lovely weekend. LOVELY. I had the perfect mix of work and fun...and while I would have loved more time spent with Ryan...I appreciated every moment I had on my own.

One of my projects was to start {yes...a year and a half later...START} our reception scrapbook. Turns out once I got going on the thing, I couldn't stop, and I did all sixty-some pages of that book in one day FLAT.
I loved reliving the moments. All of them. Like the one where Ryan actually hauled our deep freeze from our house to the reception site so we could keep our 15 gallons of pre-dipped ice cream cups cold until it was time to serve.
Or like the moment when, while we showed the video of our ceremony, I slid over to the gift table and stole two cards so Ryan and I could fan ourselves, because we were SO WARM in that room.
Or like the moment when one of our bridesmaids, Sara, could barely contain her excitement, because she got to meet LYNNE! LYNNE FORD! {That's what she kept saying...It's LYNNE! LYNNE FORD!}
They were good memories. Ones that made me smile as I transcribed the stories of the pages of the scrapbook.

Later in the weekend, I looked through some of my older scrapbooks, just for fun. Just to remember what I'd forgotten.

I looked at the book of my vacation to Virginia Beach in May 2010 - smack in the middle of my heart's desert. I hadn't been sure I was capable of traveling by myself in such a heartsick state.

I smiled at the first picture of me with the ocean. It was the first time I had ever seen any ocean, and it was the first time in WEEKS a genuine smile had crossed my lips.

I giggled at the picture my best friend took of me with the giant shell on the boardwalk. Right when she snapped it, some guy sat down on the other side, and it kind of looked like I'd smashed him.

And I remembered the feeling of relief when I made it safely home to my sister's house {she ran me to and from the airport}. I had actually accomplished a hard thing, and I was so proud of myself!

Good memories...hard memories...but all preserved as a testament to the work God had done in my heart!

I didn't just relive the past while Ryan was rehabbing patients. I did a fair amount of dreaming for our future. Pinterest and I spent more than a few hours together while I mentally designed our someday house and imagined everything from paint colors to furniture placement.

I dreamed about ministries we might be part of and entertaining we might do in our home. I brainstormed book ideas and Bible study topics and anything else I could think to ponder.

Memories and dreams do a lovely dance. They take you back to a place and time you've already walked and give you the confidence to walk ahead into an unknown. To be reminded that joy can be found in the places of deepest heartache and that celebrations are never perfect, but they're always worth giving honor to the reason for the celebration.

How I love them both...the memories and the dreams. And as I glide through this life and more dreams come true and take their places in the scrapbooks of my life, I'm just so very grateful for the God Who has walked with me in the deserts and over the mountain tops!