Wise Guys (and Girls)

Do you wish you were wiser? The answer is simple: ask God to make you wise.

That’s it.

If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking (James 1:5)

I’m reminded of this simple reality every time Mitch Kruse shows up for his monthly Mid-Morning show. Yes, he went to seminary and got his doctorate degree, but education and facts alone won’t make you wise.

Wisdom requires a supernatural transforming and informing:

And God has actually given us His Spirit (not the world’s spirit) so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. When we tell you this, we do not use words of human wisdom. We speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. (I Corinthians 2:12, 13)

Tuesday Mitch wrapped up a two-part series on Finding Satisfaction, taken from the Beatitudes, and including Matthew 5:8 – Blessed (satisfied) are the pure in heart for they will see God. This verse made me think about my pastor’s current sermon series on spiritual warfare. I helped interview three of our church’s war veterans to prepare them to participate in one of the services. Each of their stories was different yet carried a recurring idea: What kept them going through boot camp and day after day, year after year of military service was what was waiting for them when the war was over: freedom…their families…the safety of home...and more.

What keeps me going, whether life is gloriously good or horrendously hard, is the promise of seeing God. It energizes my soul, nourishes my weary spirit and keeps me hopped up on hope.

Need a reminder of this certainty, that you, child of God, will one day see Him and be fully and forever satisfied? Brooke Fraser’s “Soon” is a musical celebration of that unveiled faces moment.

 

Ask an Elder Law Attorney

Make important decisions now about your health, finances and assets or the courts will make them for you after you die – and you might not like what they decide.

That’s the practical and crucial “Fix Your Thoughts on This” insight from today’s Mid-Morning with Elder Law attorney Stephen Adair.

Do you think if you’re married and die without a will that all of your assets automatically go to your husband? Not so. In Indiana the courts will divvy your assets between your husband and children…and the laws vary from state to state. Do you know what the law is in your state?

Do you think it’s a good idea to have your adult son or daughter’s name on your checking or savings account or on the deed to your home? It’s questionable, at best. In essence you’ve made them a co-partner, giving them legal access to your money and equal partnership in your home. A power of attorney can serve your need for someone to make emergency decisions while protecting you.

What about you? Do you have a will? A living will? A power of attorney for your finances and health needs?

This kind of planning for the future is one of the greatest gifts of love you can give to your family.

That reminds me; Doug and I need to update our will since it names one of my sister's as our son's legal guardian (should we die at the same time) -- and he's now 31.

The Truth Will Set You Free . . . and Upset Some Christians

“I want to talk with you about today’s Mid-Morning,” began the voice mail left on my phone following Thursday’s show with Will Davis Jr., author of 10 Things Jesus Never Said. That type of statement usually means the caller appreciated the show and wants to tell me why.

This was not one of those calls. I could tell by her tone.

Bekah prayed with me (thank you, friend) and I called the woman – who left only her phone number, no name – back. She was surprised to hear from me, even though she was adamant about wanting to speak with me about the “horrible” show that “gave people permission to sin,” before threatening to pull her pledge, and then hanging up.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Tell me what was said today that upset you.

Listener: That man said God knows all of our sins before we do them and that He forgives every sin.

Me: Do you believe the Bible says that?

Listener: Yes.

Me: Then why are you upset that Will said that on Mid-Morning?

Listener: Because he said God knows all of our sins before we do them and that He forgives every sin.

Me: Do you believe that the Bible teaches that and that Will was telling the truth?

Listener: Yes.

Me: Are you saying we shouldn’t tell people about those truths on Mid-Morning?

Listener: No, but when you say things like that people will think they can just go out and sin

Me: Will talked about that, quoting Paul…saying just because God lavishes grace on us, it doesn’t mean we go out and sin. In fact, God’s cross-love compels us to not sin…because we are so grateful for what He’s done for us.

Listener: Yes, but God is a jealous God and your guest didn’t mention that.

That’s when the Spirit turned on the light for me. This listening friend and I talked for quite a while beyond the conversation in this blog. What I heard in her voice was devotion to Jesus and a frustration with Christians who say they belong to Jesus but act as if they’ve never met Him. I get that. Truth be told, I sometimes feel that way myself. But what I also heard was fear. Fear to trust that God will do what He has promised: transform us by the power of His Spirit. All we need do is give ourselves to Him, moment by moment.

I grew up in a church that preached the saving love of God, but not the Father-fondness of a God that takes delight in me, is broken by my brokenness and wants me to know Him and rest in Him. Or to paraphrase Augustine (though this is pretty close to his original statement): Love God and do as you please.

The main message I received was, “You’re saved, now be good.”

That kind of Christianity sucks the life out of you. All these many years later – after much sinning, which I take full responsibility for, and a line-in-the-sand repentance moment – I choose to be hemmed in by God’s love, forgiveness and holiness, rather than my own rules, which will be too strident, stomping to death God-given  joy, pleasure and laughter, or too loose, allowing regular visits to the far country of sin.

Trust me, being hemmed in by God is like saying the continent of Australia is my home – and it’s not big enough for me. God offers freedom; sin enslaves us in a dark, cramped space.

I don’t know if my conversation with our listening friend changed how she feels about the straight-from-the-Bible truths Will Davis Jr. shared on Thursday’s Mid-Morning. When we re-air it later this year, I just may find out.

In the meantime I’m praying for her and thanking God for His servant, Will Davis Jr.

P.S. We’ve had many, many “Thank you for Will Davis Jr.” comments including a man from our bowling league who told me his story Saturday night! BTW, our team won four games and I got my average all three games. Color me happy.

The next time you’re about to say something to or about your pastor’s wife, consider these very real facts about pastors’ wives from a Time magazine article:

Eight in 10 pastors' wives say they feel unappreciated or unaccepted by their husbands' congregations, according to surveys by the Global Pastors Wives Network (GPWN).

Eight in 10 pastors’ wives wish their husbands would choose another profession.

"Wives' issues" is the No. 1 reason pastors leave their ministries.

There’s always margin for error in any survey, but even when including a little skewing of the numbers, the reality is congregations – that’s you and me – can and are tough on our pastors and their wives.

Enter “Leading and Loving It,” a support ministry for pastors’ wives and women in ministry.

Founded by Lori Wilhite and co-led with another “PW,” Brandi Wilson, “Leading and Loving It” provides a safe place for pastors’ wives to share their hurts, to celebrate the joy of supporting their shepherd-husbands and serving with them, and to encourage each other.

Think you know what’s going on in the heart, soul and life of your pastor’s wife? Based on Friday’s Mid-Morning conversation, it’s doubtful. So let’s change that. Here’s my challenge to you:

1.      Listen to the February 17 Mid-Morning “Pastors’ Wives Revealed” discussion.

2.      If you’ve done anything to injure your pastor’s wife, call or write her and apologize (a real letter, please. I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept it in her Bible or nightstand as a “kindness remembrance”). Be specific about the offense and asking for her forgiveness.

3.      Let her know about the “Leading and Loving It” website that’s packed with resources (virtual communities, blogs, and events) that are just for her!

4.   Choose a way to bless her -- a gift card to her favorite coffee place; a candle (check out Candle Expressions' flameless candles (type "Candle Impressions" in the search bar]. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes, they look real [no kidding!], and some even have timer); a book (Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts is amazing & a good choice no matter her age or reading preferences); deliver dinner to her house; babysit her kids for a day; surprise her with maid service for a day...could be you or you can pool your finances with others and hire it done. If you don't know your PW very well, ask her husband or her girlfriends for ideas.

4.      Finally, pray regularly for your PW. Lori, Brandi, and Amy Luedtke (our third pastor’s wife) all said prayer is the most desired and needed gift anyone can give them.

Your pastor's wife will feel the love and care of Jesus through your actions and prayers!

"Flirting with the Forbidden"

Steven James’ Flirting with the Forbidden is filled with one-liners; not ha ha’s but aha’s:

Jesus didn’t die just so that one day I could go to heaven, He died so that I might stop living for myself now.

When we’re tempted (either by our own desires or the nudgings of the devil) I don’t think the point is to make us do the unthinkable—at least not at first. The goal is to make the unthinkable more and more reasonable.

Our prayers might not all be answered in the time and manner we’d prefer, but we can either turn our eyes inward in pity or upward in faith.

I think that to truly follow Jesus, we have to ask not just that God’s will be done in this world, or in our lives, but that His will be done in our wills. His Spirit can shape and transform our wills if we will stop resisting and start submitting.

Jesus didn’t arrive on earth to debate theology but to propose marriage. In a very real spiritual sense, God is courting us.

These statements alone make for a worthwhile blog. I could stop writing right now but I won't.

Wednesday’s temptation discussion was and is for everyone. Steven went beyond the usual temptation issues (all things sexual including infidelity, stealing and drugs/alcohol) to the everyday, sometimes subtler temptations that dog us all: to walk away from God, to doubt, to become bitter.

Being a storyteller, Steven begins each chapter with a first-person story of a biblical person facing temptation. All are compelling and stretch the fabric of the biblical story without distorting or rewriting it. So what can we learn from Cain, David, Joseph, Naomi and Hannah, to name just a few? Practical and immediate responses for overcoming temptation:

1.      Pray that God will deliver you

2.      Remove whatever is leading you into sin, or remove yourself from the situation that’s leading you to sin

3.      Promise yourself you won’t sin (there is something quite powerful about making a covenant)

4.      Run away

5.      Tell yourself the truth about the sin (secretly reconnecting with your high school love on Facebook and getting lots of warm emotional strokes isn’t friendship, it’s – if you’re married – cheating)

My “Fix Your Thoughts on This” insight from Steven is the same one God opened my eyes to 30+ years ago:

It’s the love of God, which nurtures and expands my love for Him, that motivates and empowers me to say “no” to sin.

Steven frames it like this:

“The secret to overcoming temptation is not to try harder but to receive more of what God offers: ‘For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age’” (Titus 2:11-12).

Amen!

Playing Favorites

Is it wrong of me to have favorite Mid-Morning guests? I don’t think so. There are certain people who have the total Ideal Guest Package. They’re knowledgeable, passionate, articulate and warm, with a sense of humor. We click. The result is an informative discussion that engages everyone involved: host, guest and you!

Dr. Ann Kulze is one of my favorites. She hits every note in the Ideal Guest Package.

Tuesday’s conversation covered everything from the new Splenda Essentials line, last year’s supplements’ study concluding a daily vitamin doesn’t benefit most of us -- which many of you wanted more info about -- and the extra health punch sprouted beans provide.

If your challenge is translating what you know about good nutrition into your daily meals, Dr. Ann shares numerous recipes on her website, including appetizers, breakfast, desserts (because everyone loves dessert, including Dr. Ann), salads and sides. Check them out along with her teaching videos.

And if you’re hoping Dr. Ann will return to Fort Wayne for another of her high-energy and informative seminars, the answer is yes! We’re finalizing the details for her 2012 visit and will let you know in the next couple of months.

To be one of the first to know about Dr. Ann's visit, Mid-Morning guests, our upcoming "Party Palooza" contest (with a fun! fun! fun! prize), and what Bekah and I are learning and loving, follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

Favorite Books

When it comes to books I adhere to the axiom, So many books, so little time, which explains why we squeeze six authors into each monthly “Author! Author!” show – including two or three fiction writers. Discovering a novelist I’ve not read before is a surprising treat, like slipping on my winter coat for its first wearing during another winter season and finding money in the pocket. I love that.

My “Favorite Authors’ List” continues to grow, but when I’m looking for something to read for pleasure, I frequently go back to a previously read friend. And even though I know how the story begins, develops and ends, it doesn’t matter. It’s still delicious. Just as I never tire of eating a good Bolognese sauce, the mushroom pizza at 800 Degrees, Reese cups and molasses bread, there are books that I savor again and again.

Here are a few:

The Mitford Series by Jan Karon

This former ad executive literally packed up her belongings and left the world of public relations, moving to a charming North Carolina town to write. After a failed attempt at trying to craft a story that captured her own heart, Jan had a dream about an Episcopal priest and a big galoot of a dog. I’ve read through this series that acts as a cleansing, sweet rain on my soul, several times – and I plan on visiting my Mitford friends, including Father Tim, Dooley, Cynthia and Barnabas the dog, this summer.

Pascal’s Wager by Nancy Rue

“Either God exists, or He does not,” wrote seventeenth century mathematician Blaise Pascal. In each life, he observed, “a coin is being spun which will come down heads or tails. Let us weigh the consequences involved in calling heads that God exists. If you win, you win everything but if you lose, you lose nothing.” Nancy Rue spins a heartbreaking, exhilarating and laugh-out-loud funny story out of Pascal’s very famous proposition. It involves a brilliant mathematician, Jill McGavock; her mother, who is slipping away due to an Alzheimer’s-like disease; and a philosophy professor, Sam Bakalis, who challenges Jill to try living as if God exists.

My reading friend, Laurie Nichols, turned me on to this book. I’ve even used Sam’s answers to tough questions about God (How can we know God exists? When disease steals our minds, do we lose our humanity?) in real-life conversations.

Don’t let the fact the main character is a mathematician, turn you off. Yes, there are discussions about mathematical theories, but they’re interesting and informative, and develop and drive the plot. . If there was an award for “Most Math Challenged Person in the United States,” I would win, hands down. The fact I was drawn into the story speaks to Nancy Rue's skill as a writer. When I interviewed Nancy about her book, she told me she is horrible at math, easily befuddled by it, and more than a little surprised by how well Pascal's Wager turned out! 

Want a few more suggestions? Try Quaker Summer, The Passion of Mary-Margaret, or anything else by Lisa Samson; Jerusalem by Ellen Gunderson Traylor; Madman (the story of the Gerasene demoniac) by Tracy Groot; and the delightful 84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff.

What are some of your favorite books? Tell me! And if you do read any of my suggestions, I’d love to know what you think about them.

Blog Clog

There are weeks that drag on and on and feel more like a month, and then there are weeks that pass by in a flash. The week of February 6 was the latter, which is why I’m condensing five blog posts into one. Here, then, is what I learned last week on Mid-Morning:

February 6: The Relationship Doctor, Dr. David Hawkins, fielded questions about anything and everything today. Several of the calls had a common theme: a fear of doing and speaking the truth. One young man was considering dating a woman but he wasn’t sure if she was a Christian. A mother wanted to ask her pregnant, unmarried daughter and the daughter’s boyfriend who were living with her, to move out. She felt used but didn’t want to potentially damage the relationship with her daughter. How would you have advised these callers? Listen to the interview on our archive for Dr. Hawkins’ answer.

February 7: We talk a lot about wellness on Mid-Morning. That’s because taking care of our bodies is a way to cut our health care costs, improve our quality of living, and honor our bodies, which are literally the temples’ of Jesus. He lives in us. Today’s takeaway? What one thing can you do today that’s good for your body? Eat an apple? Get enough sleep? Laugh? Park your car at the far end of row rather than in the spot closest to your destination? Little adjustments add up to be changes.

February 8: If you listen to Mid-Morning, even sporadically, you know that Bekah and I are fond of Etsy and the sites many shopkeepers. If you’ve ever considered starting your own business, and have limited cash, check out Etsy for inspiration and information.

February 9: Jill Kelly and Nancy Guthrie are friends who share a common sorrow: the death of a child. I realize it’s difficult to listen to an hour-long interview that winds its way to the death of a little one. But I’m always – and I mean always – bursting with hope and deep gratitude as the stories move upward from the pit of darkness and grief to the constant comfort of God AND the certain promise of heaven and a forever reunion. Jill reminded us that everything that happens in our lives is “Father-filtered.” It’s passed through His hands, and He stands ready with all we need to face…whatever.

February 10: Dr. David Hawkins’ “Fix Your Thoughts on This” and mine were the same, and we both knew it as soon as we heard it: “We repair to prepare.” Jackie Johnson, author of When Love Ends, who joined Dr. Hawkins and me to discuss what to do when a relationship ends, made the statement. What do you do with the pain, loss and heartache of any situation? Grieve well, Jackie reminded us. Grieving repairs wounded hearts and readies us for what’s next in life. Wiser words were never said.

I've Got a Super Power!

Thank goodness for shingles.

Just as a spider’s bite initiated Peter Parker’s Spiderman super powers, a bout with shingles in 2007 commenced my own version of a super power: a tingling along my shingles’ nerve path that warns of stress long before I’m consciously aware of it. It can happen when I over schedule myself (while adamantly claiming I haven’t) and when I ingest too much media – television news and talk shows, talk radio, magazines and newspapers.

When I feel the tingle, it’s my body’s “Danger, Will Robinson” cry for help to reduce stress now!

If you are the parents of a middle schooler and caught Friday’s Mid-Morning with Dr. Brenda Hunter and her adult daughter Kristen Blair, co-authors of From Santa to Sexting: Helping Your Child Safely Navigate Middle School and Shape the Choices that Last a Lifetime (Leafwood), and if you had my Tingling Super Power, it would have gone into full alert: one dismal and disheartening statistics about middle schoolers and their involvement with drugs, sex and risky behaviors after another. That kind of news can make parents feel defeated or lead them to enact more family rules than the IRS tax code.

But as we moved from one serious middle schooler issue to the next, Dr. Hunter and Kristen Blair did something very biblical: they reminded us of the Greater Reality that can easily evade us. Paul declares it in Colossians 1:17 – “He (Jesus) existed before everything else began, and He holds all things together.”

Jesus is God. There is nothing in life – no issue, no person, no circumstance – that can overtake and conquer our God, Whose Spirit, which raised Christ from the dead, lives in us!

Life is and will be stressful. (How's that for stating the obvious?) When life gets tingly, here’s what I do:

1.      Immerse myself in scriptures that remind me of all that God is and all that He has promised.

2.      Play songs that proclaim God’s “Godness” – Wonderful, Merciful Savior, Your Name, Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, Soon (featuring Brook Fraser – wow!) and sing along…loudly!

3.      Sit with Jesus, praying, listening and basking in His love.

Trust Jesus. He’s got everything under control.

Taking Thoughts Captive

I script delicious fantasies.

Growing up, my sisters and I went to the movies almost every weekend. Television was my close friend, as were books, especially Harlequin romance novels, and magazines like Tiger Beat and Rona Barrett’s Hollywood. Was it any wonder I was not a good candidate for reality living? When life was disappointing, mundane (a grossly unfair synonym in my mind for normal), or boring, I turned to fantasizing stories about romance and celebrity starring…me.

God has done, and is doing, a glorious and thorough transforming of my mind and thoughts. It began with humbly surrendering myself to Him, and continues with a moment by moment embracing of The Greatest Commandment: loving God with every part of me – mind, soul, heart and body.

But still, every once in a while, to my chagrin, sadness and even surprise, I default to the comfort of fantasy. Why? On Thursday’s Mid-Morning addressing sexual addictions, Dr. Mark Laaser brought the answer into focus: I have a legitimate, unmet desire, demanding...even begging to be truly satisfied. Fantasies, says Dr. Laaser, are messages from your soul, revealing a deep longing.

Thank you, Dr. Laaser!

While my fantasies weren’t and aren’t sexual, the same truth Dr. Laaser applies to determining an unmet desire that finds its false answer in sex, is for me, and you, too. When we begin to understand our fantasies (and the desires they are unsuccessfully trying to meet), then we can find whole and healthy ways to satiate the desires, which, by the way, are God-given and ultimately fulfilled by Him.

By now you probably have a growing list of questions:

1.      How do I figure out what desire my fantasy is trying to fulfill?

2.      What are the God-given desires we try to satisfy with fantasies or sinful behaviors?

3.      How do I get rid of fantasies?

I’m not in the book-selling business (though I’d be a gazillionaire by now because of Mid-Morning books I’ve recommended over the years!), but I truly believe God is using Dr. Mark Laaser to set His people free from sexual sin and all addictive, life-stealing thoughts. Dr. Laaser himself – who spent 25 years living a duplicitous life…a pastor, husband, father, counselor, Bible college professor and pornography viewer who also solicited prostitutes – a talking testimony to the emancipating power of God. Begin with Becoming a Man of Valor (Beacon Hill), which is definitely for women too, and then read The Seven Desires of Every Heart (Zondervan).

And get ready to be transformed!

Doggone Good Pet News

I’m not a pet owner (our son and I are allergic to dogs and cats), but I do go gaga over them. My parents, three sisters and all but one of their married children have dogs, everything from Jack Russells to bulldogs to Labrador retrievers to my parents pug/boxer mix, Sophie. That’s her flashing a Hollywood smile. As a doggie aunt, I fulfill my affection responsibilities with plenty of petting and goofy dog talk that sounds an awful like exaggerated baby talk (Who’s a goooood doggie? Lola girl! That’s who!). Then I scrub my hands and take a Benadryl.

If you have a dog or cat, Dr. Brandon Stapleton’s lowdown on pet obesity is a must-listen. Catch it on the Mid-Morning archive. In the meantime, here are some facts that will change the way you feed your dog or cat:

  ·        50% of U.S. dogs are overweight or obese.

  ·        Just one pound too many on a small breed like a Chihuahua is equivalent to a 125-pound woman gaining 31 pounds.

·        An estimated 58% of cats—54 million—are overweight or obese.

·        Two extra pounds on a medium-size cat (like a Siamese) is equal to 25 extra pounds on a 125-pound woman.

·        Feeding a 20-pound dog one ounce of cheddar cheese (one cube) is comparable to a 5’4” woman eating two hamburgers!

·        And giving a 10-pound cat a cup of milk would be like a 5’4” woman eating five chocolate bars.

Every calorie, both meals and snacks, has a powerful impact on our pets.

We weren't able to squeeze in this info for smart phone owners from Ladies Home Journal’s Sara Haines. The tech guru recommends these mobile tools for keeping your pet safe and healthy:

·        My Dog (free for iPhone and iPad) is a mobile storehouse for your dog’s vital information: medical records, emergency contacts—even health insurance info. You can email the profile directly to a new vet or dogsitter, saving you from transferring records or writing out instructions when you leave town.

·        Pet First Aid ($3.99 for iPhone and $2.99 for Android) gives you instant access to detailed first-aid instructions (along with handy videos and illustrations) until you can get to your vet.

·        Pet Services Finder (free for iPhone and iPad) is great for travelling with your pet. Search for nearby vets, clinics or pet-friendly hotels. Display the results on a map and get directions from your current location. You can even read fellow users’ reviews of a new vet you’re considering

(Info taken from September 11 Ladies Home Journal)