The next time you’re about to say something to or about your pastor’s wife, consider these very real facts about pastors’ wives from a Time magazine article:
Eight in 10 pastors' wives say they feel unappreciated or unaccepted by their husbands' congregations, according to surveys by the Global Pastors Wives Network (GPWN).
Eight in 10 pastors’ wives wish their husbands would choose another profession.
"Wives' issues" is the No. 1 reason pastors leave their ministries.
There’s always margin for error in any survey, but even when including a little skewing of the numbers, the reality is congregations – that’s you and me – can and are tough on our pastors and their wives.
Enter “Leading and Loving It,” a support ministry for pastors’ wives and women in ministry.
Founded by Lori Wilhite and co-led with another “PW,” Brandi Wilson, “Leading and Loving It” provides a safe place for pastors’ wives to share their hurts, to celebrate the joy of supporting their shepherd-husbands and serving with them, and to encourage each other.
Think you know what’s going on in the heart, soul and life of your pastor’s wife? Based on Friday’s Mid-Morning conversation, it’s doubtful. So let’s change that. Here’s my challenge to you:
1. Listen to the February 17 Mid-Morning “Pastors’ Wives Revealed” discussion.
2. If you’ve done anything to injure your pastor’s wife, call or write her and apologize (a real letter, please. I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept it in her Bible or nightstand as a “kindness remembrance”). Be specific about the offense and asking for her forgiveness.
3. Let her know about the “Leading and Loving It” website that’s packed with resources (virtual communities, blogs, and events) that are just for her!
4. Choose a way to bless her -- a gift card to her favorite coffee place; a candle (check out Candle Expressions' flameless candles (type "Candle Impressions" in the search bar]. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes, they look real [no kidding!], and some even have timer); a book (Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts is amazing & a good choice no matter her age or reading preferences); deliver dinner to her house; babysit her kids for a day; surprise her with maid service for a day...could be you or you can pool your finances with others and hire it done. If you don't know your PW very well, ask her husband or her girlfriends for ideas.
4. Finally, pray regularly for your PW. Lori, Brandi, and Amy Luedtke (our third pastor’s wife) all said prayer is the most desired and needed gift anyone can give them.
Your pastor's wife will feel the love and care of Jesus through your actions and prayers!
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