Being Brave

Did you catch this morning's Mid-Morning with Lynne and Dr. Hawkins? He is on our program every month to talk about relationships...and I so love his wisdom.

This morning, one of the topics they covered was that of jealousy/insecurity. Oh man. Do I ever know that! I would not categorize myself as an overly jealous person, but I will admit there have been (and are) times when I feel it rising in my heart until it touches my throat...and I hate that. And the insecurity that seems to be married to the jealousy...that feeling that history is about to crash in with a repetitive vengeance. You know it too, don't you?

Dr. Hawkins, who has no problem being vulnerable for the greater good of mankind, admitted out loud that sometimes he's insecure and jealous, but here's the great piece of hope he offered. In those moments when he struggles, he goes to his wife and admits his insecurity and she reaches out with such compassion and meets the need at hand so he can feel safe. And in so doing, their relationship is strengthened in trust.

Oh to have that kind of relationship! Oh to be brave enough to honestly say, "I'm scared." To be brave enough to accept the compassion offered back. To be brave enough to offer compassion rather than condemnation. THAT is the kind of marriage I want.

Relationships are brave things. They just are. To be healthy requires a sometimes uncomfortable level of honesty. What a gift we give each other (in ANY relationship - not just in a marriage) when we offer a place of safety where vulnerability and insecurity and hurt can be exposed and therefore healed.

Switching gears just a bit....

Did any of you go to the Selah concert Saturday night? I went (this time not as a worker but just as an attender) and LOVED IT. Selah is one of my favorite groups of all time and I'd never seen them live. The music was, as I expected...amazing.

But what always gets me is the stories behind those who sing. It's one thing to have a battle. It's another thing to stand on a stage before a room full of people and admit the battle out loud. Like Amy Perry, who shared the struggle of self-image, overeating, feeling at the end of her rope, finding clothes that should fit that don't, and not understanding what is happening to her body. While there were portions of her talk that didn't relate to me (because I've not had a baby), I SO understood what she was talking about. I've been there. But there was freedom in hearing someone stand on a stage and say the thoughts of my own heart. Made me know I wasn't alone.

Or Todd Smith...who didn't share his story this time, but has stood beside his wife, Angie Smith, many times to bravely share the story of deep grief and loss, when their baby girl Audrey Caroline died shortly after her birth. I read Angie's book when I was going through my desert of relationship loss, and while the details were different, I felt every bit of the same emotions and grief. And I'm thankful the two of them publicly shared their anguish, because I needed to know I wasn't alone.

And Allan Hall, the piano player of the group...how I appreciated his sensitivity to sing a quiet song of the joy of seeing loved ones again in Heaven. From my perch at the end of my pew, I watched men and women around me choke back tears as they remembered losses still fresh in their heart, regardless of how long ago they took place. In his moment when he could have showcased his talent even more fully than he did...he chose to follow the Spirit's leading. Bravery. A chance for the hurting to know they weren't alone.

Life. It's this thing we do together. Where we're jealous and insecure and overcome by desires and run over by tragedy and socked by pain...and yet if we can just be brave enough to step up and say, Hey. I'm insecure and need your love today. I feel overwhelmed. My world just fell apart. I miss him...

...we just might find compassionate arms waiting to draw us in.