Greatest Possible Pain

Ahhhhh Facebook. I was without it for an entire week, while Ryan and I were away on vacation. I hadn't ever been disconnected like that before, and I'm not gonna lie to you - I wasn't sure how I'd handle it. As it turned out, I did okay with it, and when we returned and I eagerly dove into my Facebook app on my phone, I found bad news at the top of the list.

And I wanted to go right back on vacation. Right back to the land of flip flops and endless coffee cups and no bad news.

Instead, I had to go home...which included:

* flying in some fairly spectacular storms

* coming home to no hot water {discovered a leak in the water heater before we left, so we drained it}

* finally fixing the hot water heater - only to find pipes leaking under the house

My heart was already hurting for other reasons, and by the time Ryan emerged from under the house the second time, with "the look" on his face, telling me something else was wrong...I dissolved into tears.

I said to him, "Does God hate us?"

Of course He doesn't, and I knew that, but I also knew that in that moment, I'd received one upper cut to the jaw too many and I felt completely assaulted.

People tried to comfort me - and rightly so.

Be thankful you have a husband who not only can fix these things, but is willing to...

Be thankful you found these things on days when you had the time off work to spend tending to them...

And I was. I was thankful for those things.

But I also just hurt. I hurt because in that moment, life wasn't fair and I wanted to be mad about it for ten minutes, with no logic-filled lectures, before composing myself and facing reality again.

I remembered a little sentence I heard once, many years ago, spoken by a hospital chaplain, who sees more pain in a day than I do in a year...The pain in front of you is the greatest possible pain because it's yours.

We so love to outdo each other, don't we? "You need to stop being hurt about this because if you were in MY shoes, you'd feel WORSE."

But the pain right in front of us is the greatest possible pain because it's the one we're feeling in that moment.

And while I'm not advocating wallowing in self-pity, I am saying to you it's okay to feel your own pain and grieve it for a moment while you turn your face to the Lord and ask Him for His strength to carry you into the next moment.

We know so many of you out there are hurting - from so many different things. But we acknowledge today that your pain is deep and wounding because it is YOURS. And sweet friend, Jesus feels your pain and loves you through it.

He doesn't hate you.

He cries with you.

And He will sustain you in this moment.