It's Okay to Be You

It's been two years now, since I did my intensive training for the 10K at the Fort for Fitness. I was talked into such an adventure by my friend and co-worker, Jeri.

I had never been a runner but she convinced me I could do it, so I gave it a shot. I had some help training - and running - the race from someone new in my life:

And I was SO PROUD of myself that day. SO PROUD of the hard work I had done and the fact that I lived through running over six miles at one time.

And a week later, I got engaged, and we launched into planning a wedding in 2 months and then we spent a year in home renovations - and just recently, I've gotten back into "running."

I say "running" - because it's not going all that well. I'm not great at it.

And that it is 37 kinds of discouraging.

I read all the Facebook posts of my friends who weren't runners even six months ago and now they subscribe to the magazines and buy the shoes and post the updates and break records and....and...and...

...and I'm still struggling to maintain a mediocre time. Forget improving it right now.

I told Ryan the other day that I would far rather walk than run. I ENJOY walking. I do not enjoy running. Ever.

And you know what he told me?

Then walk.

Why do you have to run? he asked me. I'd rather see you excited to do something you enjoy than force yourself to go out and do something you hate.

Ahhhhh....freedom.

I have been pressuring myself to love running...to be a runner...because running's trendy. 5K races are trendy. I want to fit in. I want to get the clothes and learn the lingo and glide through the park with ease, not wheeze my way up a hill in choppy motions, gripping my sloshing water bottle for dear life.

Will I give up running forever? Probably not. But I'm going to feel a lot more freedom in stopping to walk if I need to. I wasn't made to be a runner. It's not the way my body was created. It's not the way my passions flow.

I'd rather have a good brisk walk with a clear mind that allows me to think and process and inhale the beauty of the day than limp-run on aching knees praying only for my next breath.

And I think this stretches to everything. From all sides, we're forced to love what the next person loves. Whatever trends. Whatever makes us fit in.

But what if we could just be...US? What if we could feel free to pursue what we love? Sure, now and then we might need to step outside the comfort zone to do something challenging, but what if we were content to say...THIS is who I am. Even if I stand alone loving this.

Think of the freedom!