Make a List!

My first boyfriend and I began dating in college. We had a rather unconventional beginning to love, and practically nothing about our relationship was ever normal, but it's still a sweet part of my past, because it was the first time anyone had ever taken an interest in me and invested in me like that.

It is with a slightly red face that I confess we began dating as the result of the classic, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no."

Let me explain.

He and I had been "talking" for a while but had skirted that all-important defining talk, so we both bumbled about wondering how the other one felt and if there was something actually happening between us. It was all new for me, and I relied entirely on the advice of my roommates, who assured me that guys did NOT, in fact, "just come over" with gifts unless they were interested. {Mercifully they left out the additional detail of "especially after you answer the door wearing red plaid pajamas."}

One of my roommates was dating a prankster who took great delight in the awkwardness of our fledgling love. One morning, I returned to our apartment after my morning class, to find a note scribbled on the white board of my bedroom door. The note said, "Do you like me? Circle yes or no." I knew INSTANTLY her boyfriend was behind that note, and I cracked up.

Then I stopped laughing.

What if MY guy had stopped by the apartment that morning while I was gone to class and thought I wrote the note for him?

I do believe my face would have matched those garish pajamas at that moment.

I erased the note, but had no choice but to try to figure out if he'd seen it. Unfortunately I did not possess a single smooth cell in my being at that point, so the conversation went something like this:

Me: Did you stop by the apartment this morning?
Him: No, why?
Me {way too quickly, and an octave higher than normal}: NO REASON AT ALL.

Yeah that didn't fly. I had to confess and he ended up asking me what I would have circled if he really had left me that note.

{Enter the swirling notes of harps and little confetti hearts flitting from the sky.}

All of the above was simply for your entertainment. Here is what I really wanted to tell you;

I struggled pretty heavily with low self-esteem at that juncture in my life, and he made it his personal mission to try to help me improve. It was a monumental {read: impossible} task, but he was stubborn and persisted in trying to get me to see myself differently.

He was stubborn enough, actually, that he gave me an assignment.

"I want you to write 100 positive things about yourself," he said to me.

WHAT? I'm in COLLEGE! Do I not have enough homework? This could take YEARS!!!

He didn't give me years. He gave me until the end of the week.

Do you know how long of a list ONE HUNDRED THINGS can be? Excruciatingly long. I folded up some loose leaf paper and carried it around with me, scribbling down good things as they came to mind and spent more time painfully conjuring up things that could be deemed as good.

And then we met for a date in the campus coffee shop and I read him the list.

I have never forgotten that assignment. It was, I believe, the beginning of learning to love the girl God made me to be.

And I firmly believe everyone could benefit from something like this. One hundred is a LOT. But I would love to challenge you today to write a list of twenty good things about yourself. TWENTY. Write them down and look at them to remind yourself that you do have gifts and good qualities about yourself.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made - inside and out. Celebrate it!