This is How It Feels to Be Free!

Oh, how good it felt to be back on Mid-Morning today, after spending two days as a juror deliberating the immediate fate of a young man. Bekah and I laughed and teased each other (and our guests) and gave away a variety of useful and cool products. The atmosphere was light and fun, the complete opposite of my past 48 hours.

After hearing witnesses testify that they were telling "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, God," followed by persuasive closing arguments, we 12 jurors spent about four hours revisiting the details of the case and the testimonies, while laboring to reach a consensus. We cast anonymous paper votes several times to determine whether or not we'd reached a verdict. Finally, after yet again painstakingly dissecting each detail of the crime alongside key statements from witnesses, we took another paper vote. I never imagined writing one word, guilty, could be so intimidating and grief-inducing.

But it was.

When we returned to the courtroom and the jury foreman read the verdict, the judge asked the attorneys if either wanted to have the jury polled. Through tight lips, the defense attorney said, "Yes." Did he think we didn't already feel the weight of our decision? When I looked at the defendant, believing beyond a reasonable doubt that he had committed the crime he was accused of, I imagined one of his friends in the gallery springing from his seat and shouting, "Let me serve his time. I'll take responsibility for everything he did." But it doesn't work that way... except in God's courtroom, where He sits as Judge and Jury. I was guilty and sentenced to death the moment I took my first breath, but God. How I love those two words: But God...Who sent His Son to die, has saved me. He is now my Judge and Jury, and has said the words, now and forever, that yesterday's young man longed to hear: Not guilty.

At the start of Advent I prayed God would enable me to experience the heart of Christmas, the reason for Christ's coming. Who'd have thought the answer to my prayer would come through jury duty? What a Christmas surprise... not unlike a Savior born in a manger.

Thank you, God.